i have a doctor's appointment in the morning and i really should be sleeping but i really need to talk to someone or just get shit off my chest even though it's really not important and it's got nothing to do with art, but it's got to do with like mental stability/stress/anxiety so it's kinda like bashing my brain over and over again
what exactly are friends?
you get close to them, you're great for a while, something happens, everyone's at each other's throats, someone tries to stay in the neutral zone because everyone's important, someone bitches, everyone drifts apart, neutral zone goes off in their own direction to avoid more yelling, everyone else gets back together, neutral zone gets yelled at for letting go, neutral doesn't want to be abandoned and tries befriending again, neutral is replaced and doesn't trust anyone, friendship crumbles, neutral has a total of 0 friends from original group and only speaks to significant other, repeat entire cycle
it's not anyone specific, it's just a generalized thing.
but i have basically a similar thing going on and iiiiii
speak to dan, josh, and drew and then the ladies at work only when i'm at work
idk i've lost all connections with everyone here and it's kinda like i'm floating around until i go on another year or so hiatus and start fresh, just like the last time.
i've got a few people i still talk to, and actually want to talk to. but the tight knit group that i had is long dead and gone and sides have been taken and everyone's going their own way.
annnnd it's like this cycle that just repeats itself. it's like highschool? you're close for a while, things die off, next year things get OK, die off.. next year, things are ehhh but you still love them so you're gonna try, annnnd the year hasn't ended yet so cross your fingers everything's cool.
i dunno. even at 21, this kinda stuff really fucks with your head.
i want this appointment to be over so i can just ignore the world with danny and play minecraft for a few hours until i have to go to bed
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